This Post is a Journal Entry

Or at least it reads that way.  

***side note!  Over the years you might say I’ve gotten too comfortable typing with “Times New Roman”,  but I have to say, Arial is growing on me.

After finishing my last exam and then disappearing to my boyfriends’ for a week, I’m back home, sitting on my bed in between hearthstone matches and I just felt like writing.

I don’t know how to feel about the course I’ve just completed. I did the math once the marks were posted, and if nothing changes, I should have passed. The problem is, I don’t feel comfortable declaring this due to recent experiences. There’s a chance I was somehow wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time.

I don’t know how to feel about it mostly because even if I did pass, (and that’s all I needed to do) I’m disappointed it wasn’t by more. I really thought that if I knew my stuff this time, I would be ready for the insanely hard final exam.

Seriously. It was stupid hard. Both times. 

I decided a few weeks ago in the midst of studying that I wasn’t going to let another failure (goddess forbid) interrupt my life again. I decided that pass or fail, I would go get a job, work for a while, and figure things out from there. 

Because let’s be real, degree or no degree, I need to be employed and making some money, because like it or lump it, that’s what being an adult has to be in this capitalistic society of ours.

I mean, I could go off the grid and join a compound, where we share the food we grow ourselves and braid each other’s hair and get new names but those situations are never quite what they seem, and I might have to do some weird cult stuff then, so why risk it? 

So with all that behind me, and a sort-of-plan ahead, I am officially feeling a lot less stressed.

***although the disappointment of what my life should have looked looked like right now had things turned out different for me back in August still looms it’s ugly head.

Right now, I am looking forward to doing some creative projects for the holidays, (since I have no money) whilst looking for a job (since I have no money). 


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